that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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