Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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