I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
