She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize