i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
