What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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