The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
