i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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