anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
