i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
