I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
