Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Quick, to the slutcave!
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
