What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize
