Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize