Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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