yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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