i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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