she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
