Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
