I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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