Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
