I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
