Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is dick and wine.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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