the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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