First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I need a hoe opinion
go on
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
