HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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