My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
