can u get pink eye on your cock?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
He felt like a one man threesome
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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