i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
