You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
