She announced her abortion via fbk
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
