i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
