When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
