: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize