yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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