direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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