the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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