plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
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Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
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Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.