Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
You are a genius and a whore.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
