I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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