You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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