i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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