its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
