Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
