Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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