A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
