I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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