im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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