I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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