How'd it feel making her break her religion?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize