my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
