ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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