listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
