What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
