Whoa Z and x make the same sound
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
