OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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