i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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