that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
