I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
