But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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