Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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