I can't watch pbs sober anymore
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
