she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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