are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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