So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
my being single is dangerous.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
